Monday, March 05, 2012


If you are down south basking in the heat with your biggest problem being where did you put those sun glasses to cut the glare from the scorching sun reflecting off the bright white deck of your yacht ... then you do not need to read this. If you're like most of us, the boat was put away for the Canadian winter and by now you are probably chomping at the bit to get it ready for spring launch. It’s just around the corner and spring is already in the air.

In Ontario this has been a very mild winter with light snow (so far) and we are hopeful that the weather will turn into an early launch and some extra weeks tacked onto the all too short Canadian boating season. Flying over Lake Ontario the other week, I was amazed that the lake is devoid of shore ice and other than the odd bobbing cube, the water looks deceptively enticing ... enough to set sail in mid March. We have seen some historically abnormal years, where the ice has gone out on smaller lakes as early as the 3rd week of March! This looks like it could be one of those years as the long term forecast is shown to be well above seasonal averages running through to the end of March and the jet stream is further north than usual. So I’m excited and looking forward to hot lazy summer days at anchor in sheltered harbours surrounded by heat absorbing granite to warm my soul and help me to forget about just how quickly we will be back to another fringing frigid winter.

As you get older you start to scheme or dream about avoiding things you don’t want to do. Me ... I’ve had it with Canadian winters. I’d rather be back to summer by about January 2nd every year. So here’s the thing – almost all the industrialized countries of the world have a warm island or so somewhere down south to go to that is part of their country, allowing their citizens to go south transparently ... without the the risks of medical coverage, taxes and duty problems.

Yes it’s time my friends ... we need a warm island in the Caribbean that is part of Canada with direct flights, no passport security nonsense and covered by provincial health care. I will tirelessly work for any candidate or political party that will run on a platform that will acquire a warm island surrounded by turquoise blue waters. And I mean ANY party – even the NDP or Green party would have my vote. It trumps all other issues. Please get me a tropical island and I’ll be loyal to your political party for the rest of my days. There’s got to be dozens of islands that would love to be part of Canada. We can call it Canbuda or the Canada Virgin Island. Or how about St. Canada or Puerto Canada? Please, please, please, Mr. Harper - buy us an island. The wave of boomers coming through the system can be diverted six months of the year to make way for the younger generation to get to work with some decent jobs back in the frozen north. Heck you can even raise my taxes 20% to pay for it. Throw me a bone Mr. Harper - I’m getting desperate here.

Rise up and be heard seniors & boomers. Email or telephone your MP today and tell him/her we need a warm island. What’s that you say – the politicians can all retire at full pension for six years work and they don’t give a rats ass because they’ll be basking somewhere warm in any event at taxpayers expense. Well if a warm island is not an option, I say bring on global warming so I can drop anchor off some Georgian Bay island in December and soak up the rays. Just kidding of course, we all know that global warming is a bad thing don’t we?

Posted by at 6:41 PM